”Usenet is like Tetris for people who still know how to read.” — Computer Museum (Boston)
”Usenet isn’t a right. It’s a right, a left, and a swift uppercut to the jaw.” — Computer Museum (Boston)
”If you put a billion monkeys in front of a billion typewriters typing at random, they would reproduce the entire collected works of Usenet in about … five minutes.” — Anon.
”Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and the Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare!” — Blair Houghton
”The NeXT Computer: The hardware makes it a PC, the software makes it a workstation, the unit sales makes it a mainframe.” — Anon.
”What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator.” — Anon.
”Who’s General Failure and why’s he reading my disk?” — Anon.
”If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get one million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.” — Robert X Cringely
”A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.” — Mitch Ratliffe
”The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That’s where we come in; we’re computer professionals. We cause accidents.” — Nathaniel Borenstein
”Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad.” — Anon.
”Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_|” — Anon.
”If you can’t beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.” — Anon.
”Intel has announced its next chip: the Repentium.” — Anon.
”Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.” — Anon.
”Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.” — Steve Wozniak
”All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.” — Anon.
”Want to make your computer go really fast? Throw it out a window.” — Anon.
”The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there’s no law against whacking them around a little.” — Porterfield
”Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked.” — Jeff Pesis
”The best way to accelerate a Macintosh is at 9.8m/sec/sec.” — Marcus Dolengo
”If a trainstation is where the train stops, what’s a workstation…?” — Anon.
”The robot is going to lose. Not by much. But when the final score is tallied, flesh and blood is going to beat the damn monster.” — Adam Smith
”The computer is a moron.” — Peter Drucker
”I do not fear computers. I fear lack of them.” — Isaac Asimov
”Sometimes it pays to stay in bed in Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debuging Monday’s code.” — Dan Salomon
”It’s easy to cry ‘bug’ when the truth is that you’ve got a complex system and sometimes it takes a while to get all the components to co-exist peacefully.” — Doug Vargas
”As soon as we started programming
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