% make fire
Make: Don’t know how to make fire. Stop.

% why not?
No match.

% gotta light?
No match.

% !1984
1984: Event not found. # (on some systems)

% How’s my lovemaking?
Unmatched ‘.

% “How would you rate Bush’s incompetence?
Unmatched “.

% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].

% [Where is my brain?
Missing ].

% ^How did the sex change^ operation go?
Modifier failed.

% ^How did the sex change operation go?
Bad substitute.

% If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have?
Too many (’s.

% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.

% %blow
%blow: No such job.

% \(-
(-: Command not found.

% sh
$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!

$ mkdir matter; cat >matter
matter: cannot create

% cd /tmp
% touch this; chmod 000 this
% ln -s /usr/bin/touch U
% U this
U: cannot touch this: no write permission