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What weighs 2,000 pounds and pinches? An elephant wearing a tight tuxedo!
Similar JokesPinchingAs the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Silverman became increasingly
furious with her husband, who…

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I decided to take a day off from work and go golfing. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, ”Ribbit. Nine iron.” That’s curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I pulled out a nine iron, […]

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Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.
Similar JokesShark AttackWhy won’t sharks attack lawyers?Professional courtesy.The RescuersA minister decides to travel around America. He’s at a beach in New England and looking out at the…Which Way? The rescue squad was called to the home of an elderly couple for an apparent heart attack the gent…Blonde GuyMurphy’s Laws Of […]

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
Similar JokesThe blonde Thanksgiving dinnerIt was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-ena…The PharmacistA guy goes into a pharmacy walks up to the pharmacist and asks him for some condoms. The pharmacist …Hide the DukeA boy was […]

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Two hedgehogs are in the middle of the road and they’re by a zebra crossing. One says, “Don’t cross here!” The other one says, “Why not?” The first one says, “Look what happened to this zebra!”
Similar Jokes2 Hedgehogs in the Middle of the RoadTwo hedgehogs are in the middle of the road and they’re by […]

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Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “Whatcha doing, Tim?”
“My goldfish died,” replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. “And I’ve just buried him.”
The neighbor was concerned. “That’s an awfully big hole […]

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A old snake goes to see his Doctor.
“Doc, I need something for my eyes…can’t see well these days”.
The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.
The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he’s very depressed.
Doc says, “What’s the problem…didn’t […]

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A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing.
He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to
the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears,
“Ribbit. 9 Iron”
The man looks around and doesn’t see anyone.
“Ribbit. 9 Iron.”
He […]

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** DOGGY DICTIONARY **
LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to
lead your person where you want him/her to go.
DOG BED: any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in
the guest room or the newly upholstered […]

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A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the
middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but
unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit.
The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over
to the side of the road […]

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