Published in April 10th, 2006
(Noisy pick-up of phone.) Hi, I’m a burglar and I was just about to steal Troy’s answering machine. If you give me your name and number I’ll… Uh, I’ll post it on the fridge where he’ll see it. Uh… By the way, where did you say you live?
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Published in April 10th, 2006
(Star Trek theme in the background:)
(Voice 1:) Room 17, the final frontier.
(Voice 2:) These are the messages of Chad’s answering machine. Its two semester mission: To seek out your name and your telephone number.
(Voice 3:) To boldly inform you to wait for the tone.
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Published in April 10th, 2006
I don’t want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is an answering machine? Maybe it’s a dream, or maybe it’s an illusion, or maybe YOU don’t really exist. One way to find out is to leave a message, and if it’s reality, I will call you back.
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Published in April 10th, 2006
Hi, you’ve reached Meredith’s room. I’m sorry I can’t come to the phone right now, but my waveform has temporarily collapsed, so leave a message, and I’ll call you when I’ve pulled myself together.
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Published in April 10th, 2006
This is Frank. You can leave me a message, but I must warn you I get annoyed with messages that are hard to read. So please use your shift key appropriately, avoid overdoing punctuation, and spell-check your message, or I might ignore it.
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Published in April 10th, 2006
You have reached the Business Automation voicemail system. We used to call it an answering machine, but this is a high-tech world and we’re in a high-tech business, so we don’t call it that any more. We wouldn’t even if we could. So leave your message…
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Published in April 10th, 2006
Sorry, Chris and Susan aren’t here right now. Please leave your name and number after the tone. If you are calling regarding an outstanding debt, please leave your message before the tone.
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Published in April 10th, 2006
U2’s “With or Without You”:
No one’s here to answer the phone,
Leave a message at the tone,
And we’ll get back to you.
We’ll get back to you!
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Published in April 10th, 2006
Hello, this is KVKE, you’re on the air.
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Published in April 10th, 2006
(Strong east Indian accent:) Hello, you have reached the existential hotline of Ransheesh. I am currently meditating, but if you leave your name and which lifeline you are currently inhabiting at the sound of the Om, I will send good karma waves and contact you when the stars align properly.
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