Published in October 7th, 2008
One day this guy was sitting at this bar in Chicago and looks over and sees this guy that looks exactly like him. He says to the guy, “Hey you look just like me!”
The other man agrees and asks, “Where are you from?”
The first guy answers, “Chicago.”
“Me too!” says the second guy, [...]
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Published in October 6th, 2008
One night, a man with no voice and his friend went to a bar. The men at the bar wanted to know what he would like in a woman. He pointed to his head. His friend explained that he wanted a smart woman. Then, he rubbed his thumb on the palm of his hand. His [...]
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Published in October 5th, 2008
There was a guy in a bar and he asked the bartender for a beer. He chugged it, looked into his pocket, asked for another beer. He chugged that one, then looked into his pocket, and asked for another beer.
This went on for a while until the bartender finally asked, “How come you ask [...]
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Published in October 4th, 2008
Is that Windex in your pants?
Because I can sure see myself in them.
Similar JokesGod-awful Pickup LineIs there a mirror in your pocket? Because I can definitely see myself in your pants tonight. Pickup Line That Won’t WorkI lost my phone number. Could I have yours? pickup linesHere’s a few pickup lines.
You remind me of [...]
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Published in October 3rd, 2008
“No, really, I’m OK to drive.”
–I’m wasted, and I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I am going home with.
“I’m not used to these darts.”
–I’m not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I am this bombed.
“You get this one, next round is on me.”
–We won’t be here long enough [...]
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Published in October 2nd, 2008
Father Murphy goes into a local bar in Dublin and approaches the first man he sees. “Do you want to go to Heaven?” he asks and the man says, “Indeed I do, Father.” “Then for God’s sake,” commands the priest, “leave this pub right now.”
He then goes to the next man, “Do you want [...]
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Published in October 1st, 2008
A sailor and a pirate walk into a bar. They sit down next to each other, get to talking and their chat soon turns to their sea adventures. The sailor tells of his days fighting wars with the Navy, and the pirate tells of robbing ships and killing his enemies with the other pirates.
The [...]
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Published in September 30th, 2008
How does one become stoned drunk?
Drink wet cement.
Similar JokesSafe Driving!A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the office…You’re in big troubleJohn was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer…GOOD SAMARITANA man walks in [...]
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Published in September 29th, 2008
A man walks into a bar. The bartender says to the guy, “What can I get you?”
“Make it a whisky,” says the man who promptly throws it down in one gulp.
“That will be three dollars,” says the bartender.
“Screw you!” says the man. “You offered to get me something. I thought you were [...]
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Published in September 27th, 2008
Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
Similar Jokes$200one day there were two guys at a bar when the bar man goes i’ll give you $200 if you bring me an i…Guys and DollsThere were these two guys at the pub, and one guy said to the other, ”Let’s go downtown and get [...]
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