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Loading ...One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell, KerPlop!, right on his twitchy little nose. “Oh, please excuse me!” said the bunny. “I didn’t mean to trip over you, but I’m blind and can’t see.””That’s perfectly all right,” replied the snake. “To be […]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...A young boy walked up to his father and asked, “Dad, does a lawyer ever tell the truth?” The father thought for a moment. “Yes, son. Sometimes a lawyer will do anything to win a case.”
Similar JokesHalls of JusticeA judge was annoyed to find that his car wouldn’t start. He called a taxi, and soon […]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...When the man in the street says: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” the lawyer writes:”Insofar as manifestations of functional deficiencies are agreed by any and all concerned parties to be imperceivable, and are so stipulated, it is incumbent upon said heretofore mentioned parties to exercise the deferment of otherwise pertinent maintenance procedures.”
Similar JokesLawyer […]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...“How many can you afford?” It only takes one to change your bulb…to his. Two. One to change it and one to keep interrupting by standing up and shouting “Objection!” Three. One to do it and two to sue him for malpractice. Three. One to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, […]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, “Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?” The doctor replied, “Remember that lousy real estate […]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Ounces of brain for sale
A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.
“How much does it cost for engineer brain?”
“Three […]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...The below excerpts appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records.
Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?
Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, “I […]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Laws of Golf
LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet
to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it
has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a
tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.
LAW 2: Your best round of golf […]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Two attorneys have planned to meet for lunch, but one of
them shows up 30 minutes late.
The one who’s been waiting asks his partner: “What kept
you?”
“I ran over a Coke bottle and got a flat tire.”
“A Coke bottle in the road? Didn’t you see it?”
“No, the kid had it under his coat.”
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Q: What is the generic […]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ... A farmer walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a
divorce. The attorney asked, “May I help you?” The farmer said,
“Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce’s.”
The attorney said, “well do you have any grounds?” […]
