A man was in the waiting room at the hospital, pacing the floor. His wife was inside having their first child. After a while the doctor came out to talk to the nervous father.
“Well, your baby is here. It’s a boy. And guess what? He can fly!” The doctor let go of the baby [...]

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You’re so ugly that when you were born, the doctor slapped yo’ mama!
Similar Jokesthe ugly tree and seayou so ugly it looks like you fell from the top of the ugly tree hit every branch on the way down th…The good, bad, and ugly!* Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids
* Bad: You [...]

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The following is a list of errors given to us by the med school which
previous students have made when reporting on a patient. They were all
quite hilarious, but since the list is long, this is just a
sampling. I think they’re pretty funny.
(By the way, these are all supposedly written on actual patient charts…)
[...]

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British Military Officer Fitness ReportsThe British Military writes OFR’s (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people’s “206’s”….- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.- I would not breed from this Officer.- This Officer is [...]

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As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, “All right! All you dummies fall out.” As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention. The instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow. I smiled and said, [...]

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The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. As he and his staff were standing near a [...]

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During the Persian Gulf War, I was assigned to go to Saudi Arabia. As I was saying good-bye to my family, my three-year-old son, Christopher, was holding on to my leg and pleading with me not to leave. “No, Daddy, please don’t go!” he kept repeating.
We were beginning to make a scene when my [...]

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Doctor: Did you take the patient’s temperature?
Nurse: No. Is it missing?
Similar JokesCrazy people talkA doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient’s room. He fo…DOCTORS

The following is a list of errors given to us by the med school which
previous students ha…What should I do then?Patient: Doctor, what should [...]

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As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, “I can’t find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it’s due to drinking.”
“In that case,” said the patient, “I’ll come back when you’re sober”
Similar JokesLabor PillsOnce a woman was in labor; she was having a really tough time dealing with the pain. [...]

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A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds.
“Excuse me,” he said, “have you lost something?”
“No,” replied one of the doctors. “We’re doing a heart transplant for an income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone.”
Similar JokesGet a heart transplantA new arrival, about to enter hospital, [...]

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