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Loading ...If a communist has two cows, he gives both to the government, and the government sells him some of the milk.
If a Socialist has two cows, he gives both to the government, and the government gives him some of the milk.
If a Nazi has two cows, the government shoots him, and takes both cows.
If a [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Did you hear that in response to President Bill Clinton’s habit of dropping in on the local McDonalds, the McDonald’s national management has announced a commemorative double cheeseburger, the McClinton?
Of course, when you get it, the price has doubled, you never get the fries you were originally promised, and it’s got half the meat.
Similar JokesHot [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...The Court of King George III London, England
July 10, 1776
Mr. Thomas Jefferson
c/o The Continental Congress Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Dear Mr. Jefferson,
We have read your “Declaration of Independence” with great interest. Certainly, it represents a considerable undertaking, and many of your statements do merit serious consideration. Unfortunately, the Declaration as a whole fails to meet recently adopted specifications [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...A man was walking along when he spotted a small boy busily constructing something. He approached the boy and was shocked to see him playing with cow manure! For lack of anything better to say, he asked, “Little boy, what are you doing?”
The boy replied, “I am making George Bush with this manure, Mister.”
Now thoroughly [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...It’s Friday night and President Bill is working late in the White House.
Suddenly the big, red telephone on his desk rings.
[President Bill]
Hello! Hello!
[Voice on the line]
President Bill! We have a report that Boris Yeltsin just ordered the launch of all Russian missiles in a full-scale nuclear attack against the United States!
[President Bill]
Oh no!!!
He said he [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Hillary Clinton dies and goes to Heaven where she meets St. Peter. She notices that there are clocks everywhere. She asks St. Peter why are there so many clocks here.
St. Peter tells her that each clock represents a person on earth and that every time a person tells a lie, the clock ticks off [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Make love, not war. Hell, do both: get married!
* Women’s Restroom; The Filling Station. Bozeman, Montana
I’ve decided that to raise my grades, I must lower my standards.
* Houghton Library, Harvard University. Cambridge, Massachusetts.
It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
* Written in the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, Arizona.
If [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...For the first time in, oh, a decade, I think, something from Microsoft shipped on time:
Jennifer Katharine Gates, weighed 8 pounds 6 ounces when she was downloaded, er, born on Friday, April 26 at 6:11pm. And what do Baby Gates and Daddy’s products have in common?
1. Neither can stand on its own two feet [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...What do Gary Condit and a magician have in common?
They both make their assistants disappear!
Similar JokesGary Condit-CadabraWhat do Gary Condit and a magician have in common?They both make their assistants disappear!Gary Condit Gets Down to Business
Gary Condit looks up from his desk to see one of his aides nervously approach him. “…Condit ArrestWhat will the [...]
(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...POSITION: Mom
JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites [...]
