If a communist has two cows, he gives both to the government, and the government sells him some of the milk. If a Socialist has two cows, he gives both to the government, and the government gives him some of the milk. If a Nazi has two cows, the government shoots him, and takes both [...]

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Did you hear that in response to President Bill Clinton’s habit of dropping in on the local McDonalds, the McDonald’s national management has announced a commemorative double cheeseburger, the McClinton? Of course, when you get it, the price has doubled, you never get the fries you were originally promised, and it’s got half the meat. [...]

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The Court of King George III London, England July 10, 1776 Mr. Thomas Jefferson c/o The Continental Congress Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Dear Mr. Jefferson, We have read your “Declaration of Independence” with great interest. Certainly, it represents a considerable undertaking, and many of your statements do merit serious consideration. Unfortunately, the Declaration as a whole fails [...]

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