How many men does it take to tile a bathroom?
Two. If you slice them very thinly.
Similar JokesMen Jokes Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

How are …Where is the BathroomOne day, a brunette walked into a gas station and asked the cashier,”Where is the bathroom?” [...]

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WHAT WOMEN SAY & REALLY MEAN:
CAN’T WE JUST BE FRIENDS?
There is no way in hell I’m going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine,again.
I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.
… without you in it.
DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?
We haven’t had a fight in a while.
NO, PIZZA’S FINE.
… you cheap slob!
I [...]

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An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a fight, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night.
A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most… “When I die I will dig my way up and out [...]

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Even if you aren’t a skier, you’ll be able to appreciate the humor of the slopes as written in this account by a New Orleans paper:
A friend just got back from a holiday ski trip to Utah with the kind of story that warms the cockels of anybody’s heart. Conditions were perfect, 12 below, no [...]

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A guy goes to see the doctor, because he’s been a little TOO well endowed, shall we say.? In fact, it’s 25 inches long.? Can’t get any women to have sex with him.? No men either, one would think.? Anyway, the doctor says there’s nothing he can do medically, but sends him to see a [...]

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1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelette.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You are using your cellular phone to dial up every bumpersticker that says, “How’s my driving- call 1-800-***-****.
6. Everyone’s head [...]

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Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for
a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine.
It’s a beautiful day and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Pierre and says, “Pierre, kiss me!”
Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie’s lips.
“What are you doing, Pierre?” says [...]

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“Sir, I understand you admit to having broken into the dress shop four times,” the judge said.
“Yes, Your Honor,” the suspect replied.
“What did you steal?” the judge asked.
“I stole a dress, Your Honor,” replied the suspect.
“One dress?” the judge bellowed. “But you have admitted to breaking in four times!”
“Yes, Your Honor,” sighed the suspect, “but [...]

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Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for
a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine.
It’s a beautiful day and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Pierre and says, “Pierre, kiss me!”
Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie’s lips.
“What are you doing, Pierre?” says [...]

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A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,”Mother of Six ” in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it’s time to go home and wants to find out if his wife [...]

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