Published in April 11th, 2006
Irishman went to a pet shop and asked how many budgies were in stock. “We have 99″ replied the shop owner “Give us the lot” said the Irish man, paid for them and left. He went to a tailors shop and had 99 pockets sewn into a jacket, put a budgie in each pocket, went [...]
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Published in April 11th, 2006
Barty and Dunny met in a pub and discussed the illness of a friend named Hogan.
“Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, I’m afraid he’s goin’ to die.”
“Shure, an’ why would he be dyin’?” asked the other.
“Ah, he’s gotten so thin. You’re thin enough, and I’m thin — but by my soul, Micheal Hogan is thinner than both [...]
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Published in April 11th, 2006
“Hey Patrick, do I hear you spitting in the vase on the mantelpiece ?” “No, Nora, but I’m getting closer all the time !”
Similar JokesJokes about St. Patrick’s DayTwo Irishmen were walking home after a night on the beer when a severed head rolled along the ground…Jokes about St. Patricks DayMcQuillan walked into a bar [...]
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Published in April 11th, 2006
McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave. “S’cuse me,” said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done. “What was that all [...]
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Published in April 11th, 2006
Signs you’ve got a bad christmas tree
8. Two feet tall, forty feet wide
7. Salesman’s opening line: “You’re not a cop, are you?”
6. It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers
5. While you sleep, it gets liquored up and takes the family caravan for a joy ride.
4. Each branch has “Duraflame” [...]
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Published in April 11th, 2006
The origin of the bagpipes was being discussed and the representatives of different nations were eagerly disclaiming responsibility for the instrument.
Finally, and Irishman said, “Well, I’ll tell you the truth about it. The Irish invented them and sold them to the Scots as a joke; and the Scots haven’t seen the joke yet!”
Similar JokesJokes About [...]
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Published in April 11th, 2006
The Boston taxi driver backed into the stationary fruit stall and within seconds he had a cop beside him.
“Name?”
“Brendan O’Connor.”
“Same as mine. Where are you from?”
“County Cork.”
“Same as me……”
The policeman paused with his pen in the air.
“Hold on a moment and I’ll come back and talk about the old county. I want to say something [...]
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Published in April 11th, 2006
Twelve days of Microsoft
On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: Windows 95 for my PC
On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 2 GPFs, and Windows 95 for my PC
On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 3 ports not responding, 2 [...]
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Published in April 11th, 2006
In a small southern town there was a “Nativity Scene” that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me.
The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets.
Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a “Quik Stop” on the edge of town, I asked [...]
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Published in April 11th, 2006
With the number of airline disasters lately, the FAA now sends an inspector to the North Pole to check out Santa Claus’s sleigh before allowing him to fly on Christmas eve.
The inspector arrives and checks the reindeer and they look good, he checks the harness and it looks okay, he checks the sleigh and it [...]
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