A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second black hearse just 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her 200 women [...]

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Sam & Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and Sam says to Becky “So, Becky, I was wondering… Have you ever cheated on me?”
Becky replies, “Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don’t want to ask that question…”
“Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please…”
“Well, all right, 3 times…”
“3, hmmm, [...]

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Two women friends had gone for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly
over-enthusiastic on the cocktails.
Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee.
They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a head stone or something.
The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she thought [...]

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A woman and a man got into a really bad car accident.
Both cars are totaled, but luckily no one was hurt.
After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said,
“Wow, just look at our cars! They are destroyed.
Fortunately, we aren’t hurt. This must be a sign from
God that we should meet and be friends and [...]

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One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on the butt and said, “If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose.” While this was on the edge of intolerable, she kept silent.
The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch [...]

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Father O’Grady was saying his goodbyes to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service as he always does when
Mary Clancey came up to him in tears.
“What’s bothering you so, dear?” inquired Farther O’Grady.
“Oh, father, I’ve got terrible news.” Replied Mary.
“Well what is it, Mary?”
“Well, my husband, passed away last night, Father.”
“Oh, Mary” said the father, [...]

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On the fourth day of their honeymoon, the 21 year old bride was begging for mercy from her 75 year old husband.
Rather than endure yet another lovemaking session, she slipped out of the room while he was showering and went to the hotel coffee shop.
The waitress, who had served the couple breakfast each day, was [...]

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A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.
“You aren’t so good in bed either!” he shouted and stormed off to work.
By midmorning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone.
“What took you so long to answer?”
“I was in bed.”
“What were you [...]

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A young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored.
“What would you like to do next?” he asked.
“I wanna be weighed,” she said.
So the young man took her over to the weight guesser.
“One-twelve,” said the man at the [...]

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This guy had a very attractive wife, who was always wanting clothes, jewelry, etc., but he was not too well off.
One day his wife came home with a diamond neckless. The guy asked: “Where did you get that?”
His wife replied: “I won it at bingo.”
The next night she came home with a mink coat. The [...]

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