As I was packing my suitcase for a trip, my three-year-old daughter, who was playing on the bed, said, “Daddy, look at this,” and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers into my mouth and said, “Daddy’s gonna eat your fingers!” while pretending [...]

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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher
said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human
because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not [...]

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One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the
dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?”
Her mother replied, [...]

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While working at a noisy factory, I was asked to purchase some supplies. The conveyor belts in the factory needed talcum powder to keep them from sticking, and we also needed aspirin for workers who had noise-induced tension headaches.
I went to the nearest store and loaded a shopping cart with three cases of talcum powder [...]

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A frustrated mother was talking to her friend about discipline of her son. “When I was a kid, I was disciplined by being sent to my room with dinner. But, our son has his own stereo, color TV, computer, telephone and CD player in his room.”
“So, how do you discipline him?” asked the neighbor.
“I send [...]

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When my 11-year-old son did something really absurd, I lost my patience and called him a ‘moron’. He looked as me, and finally said, “Dad, thanks for the compliment. The dictionary defines moron as someone with the intelligence of a 12-year-old!”
Similar JokesmoronQ: Why did the moron stop moving his bowels?
A; Because he thought he might [...]

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1.    If you stay up late, your child will wake early the next morning.
2.    Before your child can become clean, something else has to become dirty.
3.    Toys multiply to fill every available space.
4.    The more time you spend preparing the meal, the less your child will like it.
5.    Your child will be the only child [...]

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A man found his five-year-old daughter brushing her dog’s teeth with his toothbrush.
Horrified, the dad asks her, “What are you doing with my toothbrush?”
“Don’t worry, Dad,” replied the daughter, “I always rinse it when I’m through.”
Similar JokesAt The DentistA man and wife entered a dentist’s office.

The Wife said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t [...]

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One bright sunny afternoon, we took our sons, ages six and seven, to the city park to play. The seven-year-old read the posted playground rules to his brother:
    “One child per swing at a time.”
    “Go down the slide while seated only.”
    “Do not jump onto the merry-go-round while it is in motion.”
    etc.
Both boys [...]

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Never ask your three-year-old brother to hold a tomato.
Never hold a portable vacuum cleaner and a cat at the same time.
You can’t baptize a cat, no matter how hard you try.
When Mom is mad at Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back; they always catch the second [...]

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