Everybody should believe in something, I believe I’ll have another beer.
Everybody’s gotta be someplace.
Everyone breaks more than the seven-year-bad-luck allotment to cover rotten luck throughout an entire lifetime.
Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.
Everyone has a scheme that will not work.
Everyone hits a brick wall now and then; the trick is [...]
Business one-liners 25
Business one-liners 99




(No Ratings Yet)When all else fails, try the boss’s suggestion.
When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate. When in charge, ponder.
When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue.
When in doubt, take all the time you need to get all the facts, or all the time you have, whichever is less.
When in doubt, use brute force.
When [...]
Bosses versus workers




(No Ratings Yet)When I take a long time, I am slow.
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.
When I don’t do it, I am lazy.
When my boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy.
When I do it without being told, I’m trying to be smart.
When my boss does the same, that is initiative.
When I please my [...]
Business one-liners 95




(No Ratings Yet)To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of them absent.
To know yourself is the ultimate form of aggression.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
Too light for heavy work [...]
Business one-liners 46




(No Ratings Yet)The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
The workbench is always untidier than last time.
The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you.
The yoo-hoo you you-hew into the forest is the yoo-hoo you get back.
There are no rules around here. We’re trying to accomplish something. - [...]
Lost in a balloon




(No Ratings Yet)Two hobbyists get into their balloon for an excursion. After a while, the wind unexpectedly picks up, and the balloon goes out of control. The two balloonists, with great effort, manage to keep the balloon stable, upright, and away from power lines. But they are lost. With more effort, they get the balloon near the [...]
Business one-liners 47




(No Ratings Yet)There are two things on earth that are universal: hydrogen and stupidity.
There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking.
There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about.
There has been opposition to every innovation in the [...]
Business one-liners 108




(No Ratings Yet)Hugh Downs’ Four Rules for Investigating the Universe: Rule 1 - When confronted with an apparent infinite or infinitely repeating pattern, expect some variant that keeps it from being infinite. Rule 2 - When all investigation supports Rule 1, look for a situation which violates it. Rule 3 - Be prepared for an infinite oscillation [...]
Performance evaluation translations




(No Ratings Yet)A keen analyst: Thoroughly confused.
Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job.
Active socially: Drinks heavily.
Alert to company developments: An office gossip.
Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job.
Average: Not too bright.
Bridge builder: Likes to compromise.
Character above reproach: Still one step ahead of the law.
Charismatic: No interest in any opinion but [...]
Business one-liners 100




(No Ratings Yet)When reviewing your notes for a test, the most important ones will be illegible.
When someone says this is as bad as it can get, don’t bet on it.
When there are sufficient funds in the checking account, checks take two weeks to clear. When there are insufficient funds, checks clear overnight.
When you don’t have an education, [...]
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