A man in Manchester, decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to Leeds, and started working south from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign which [...]

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An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found 4 males in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice that she knows how to use it and that she will if required…. so get out of the car.
The 4 [...]

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About five years ago the battery in my beat-up VW beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight . I was in a hurry to get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand to start the car.
I told her to get [...]

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A mother mouse and her three children crept out of their hole into the kitchen and began feasting on some delicious bits of food. Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, Mother Mouse saw a cat slinking toward them.
The cat was between the mice and their hole. The mother mouse puffed up her lungs [...]

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Little Johnny was in church one morning when he saw for the first time baptism by immersion.
He was greatly interested in it, and the next morning proceeded to baptize his three cats in the bathtub.
The youngest kitten bore it very well, and so did the younger cat, but the old family tom cat rebelled.
The old [...]

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A woman gets home, screeches her car into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of her lungs, “Honey, pack your bags! I won the lottery!”
The husband says, “Ohmigod! What should I pack — beach stuff or mountain stuff?”
The wife yells back, “It doesn’t matter… just get out!”
Similar [...]

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On the outskirts of town, there was huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
“One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,” said one boy. The bucket was [...]

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A friend of mine heard this on a pre-flight announcement from an American Airlines pilot: “On our flight today, we will be flying at 34,000 feet. To give you an idea of how high that is, we would be able to fly over 50 Empire state buildings stacked one on top the other.
“Our speed will [...]

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Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, The Pillsbury Doughboy, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, Cap’n [...]

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One day during cooking class, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, was extolling her secrets for preparing perfect sauces.
When she ordered us to the stoves to prepare our assignments, she said, “Don’t forget to use wooden spoons.”
As I stirred my sauce, I contemplated the physics behind the mystery of the wooden spoon and decided it must have [...]

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