Published in August 23rd, 2007
One private asked another: “How did you manage to get arrested by MPs, Mac?”
“Well, I was out very late on a binge with a friend and he advised me to take off my uniform and shoes when I got to the barracks, and sneak up the stairs quietly so that if the sergeant sees me [...]
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Published in August 23rd, 2007
A priest and a nun were lost in a snowstorm. After a while, they came upon a small cabin. Being exhausted, they prepared to go to sleep.
There was a stack of blankets and a sleeping bag on the floor but only one bed. Being a gentleman, the priest said, “Sister, you sleep on the bed. [...]
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Published in August 23rd, 2007
Three women are about to be executed. One’s a brunette, one’s a redhead, and one’s a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready . . . Aim . . .” Suddenly the brunette yells, “earthquake!!” Everyone is [...]
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Published in August 23rd, 2007
Good: A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn’t getting many. Then he discovered the problem-a 10-year old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read “RADAR TRAP AHEAD.” The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading “TIPS” and a [...]
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Published in August 22nd, 2007
Two tigers were stalking through the jungles of Asia. Suddenly, the one to the rear reached out with his tongue, and licked the posterior of the tiger in front of him. The startled front tiger turned and said, “Cut it out.” The rear tiger apologized, and they continued onward.
About five minutes later, it happened again. [...]
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Published in August 22nd, 2007
A doctor at an (insane) asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well.
As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, “Up nuts!”
And the inmates complied by standing [...]
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Published in August 22nd, 2007
One spring day, a fish was swimming about a foot below the surface of a lake and saw a fly hovering just out of striking distance.
The fish said to itself, “If that fly comes six inches closer, I’ll jump up and have myself a meal.” Just then, a bear on the shore of the lake [...]
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Published in August 22nd, 2007
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to [...]
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Published in August 22nd, 2007
One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works.
“I’ve pulled you over for [...]
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Published in August 21st, 2007
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled upon an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said “OK. OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the 4th time this month and I’m getting a little sick of these [...]
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