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Loading ...This is one of my old ones that got a lot of laughs:
Noisy pick-up of phone
Uh… Hello?
Hi, I ‘m a burglar and I was just about to steal Troy’s answering machine.
If you give me your name and number I’ll..uh, I’ll post it on the ‘frige
where he’ll see it. Uh.. by the way, where did you [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t hear the question. The prosecutor again blared, “Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...There was an American basketball player that had a tournament in Belfast. After one of his games he stepped outside for a breath of fresh air when he felt a gun in his back. “What’s your religion?” he heard the man growl. Bobby (the player) had no real religion but he knew if he said [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...A man goes to the confessional. “Forgive me father, for I have sinned.”
“What is your sin, my child?” the priest asks back.
“Well,” the man starts, “I used some horrible language this week and I feel absolutely terrible.”
“When did you do use this awful language?” said the priest.
“I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...A grief-stricken man threw himself on a grave and cried bitterly, “My life, oh how senseless is it! How worthless everything about me, because you are gone. If only you had lived, if only fate had not been so cruel as to take you from this world, how everything would have been different!”
A clergyman nearby [...]
(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a damn motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, ‘Come on buddy, howabout giving a guy a break?’ He ignored me and continued writing [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t hear the question. The prosecutor again blared, “Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Two leprochans have a bet. To settle their bet, they take it to a convent. Mother Suprior answers the door, and says “Oh my goodness! Its a leprochan!”
The firt Leprochan replies, “Take it easy sister, I only wanna ask you a qustion. Are there any nuns in your convent that are my size?”
“No, little man, [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...The man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.
When the examination was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.”
“Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “you’re just lazy.”
“OK,” said the [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened.
“So, how did you do, son?” he asked.
“You’ll never believe it!” Billy said. “I was responsible for the winning run!”
“Really? How’d you do that?”
“I dropped the ball.”
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