A couple were going out for the evening. They’d gotten ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple walked out of the house, the cat shoots back in. They don’t want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband [...]

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When the police officer pulls you over, go for the following
Officer: May I see your driver’s license?
Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see [...]

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A married couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary.
During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one wish.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and poof - [...]

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A lady goes in to take a tennis lesson, and the instructor notices she is
using the wrong grip. After several failed attempts to correct her, he
finally says “OK,, just grip it like you do your husband’s member”.
After that, she immediately rips a couple of top spin winners down the
line. The instructor says, “Wow that’s great. [...]

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A guy is sitting at a bar, throwing back glass after glass of scotch. The bartender, a little worried, asks him if he’s okay. “No, I’m not,” the guy replies.
“I just caught my wife in bed with my best friend.”
“Well,” asks the bartender, “what did you say to your wife?”
“Nothing. I’m not [...]

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