I was traveling through south Georgia yesterday and noticed a lot of signs saying “pecans ahead.” Wouldn’t “restrooms ahead” be more appropriate?
What do rednecks call ductape?
Chrome.
An infinite number of rednecks, in an infinite number of pickup trucks, firing an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs, will produce all the great [...]

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A guy comes home from the bar drunk one night around 3 in the morning. His wife is sleeping and he is trying to sneak into bed. He’s laying in bed for a few minutes and cuts a fart. His wife wakes up and asks, “What in the world was that?”
He replies, “Touchdown, I [...]

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I. Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
II. Any given program costs more and takes longer.
III. If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
IV. If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
V. Any program will expand to fill available memory.
VI. The value of a program [...]

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A little Blonde girl runs up to her mom and shouts out “Mommy, Mommy I got five dollars today!” Her mom does a puzzled look and then says “How did you get that?”
The little girl smiles and says “Little Johny told me to do a cartweel while he was up in a tree” Her mom [...]

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A visiting professor at Texas A & M University is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: “How many people here believe in ghosts?” About 90 students raise their hands.
“Well that’s a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of [...]

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