To My Dearest Wife,
During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:
We will wake the kids - 54 times
It’s too late - 15 [...]

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Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.
The first said, “I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered.”
The second said, “I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order.”
The [...]

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50 WAYS TO CONFUSE, WORRY, OR JUST SCARE PEOPLE IN THE COMPUTER LAB
1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream “Oh my God! They’ve found me!” and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. [...]

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A guy walks into a bar with 3 ducks under his arm. the barman, a curious fellow, wants a word with the ducks but knows the man would object. after an hour, the man goes to the toilet.
“Hi, what’s your name,” he asks the first duck
“Luey”
“What you been doing today”
“I’ve been playing around in Puddles”
“Nice, [...]

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There was a brunette standing along side a busy road chanting “88, 88, 88, 88…”
A blonde came up to her and said, “That looks like fun, can I try?”
The brunette said, “Sure.”
So the blonde chanted, “88, 88, 88, 88..”
“Well,” said the brunette, “that is fun. But what is even more fun [...]

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