Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do.
Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. [...]

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NASA was interviewing professionals they were planning on sending to Mars. The touchy part was that only one guy could go and it would be a one way trip, the guy would never return to Earth.
The interviewer asked the first applicant, an engineer, how much he wanted to be paid for going.
“One million dollars,” the [...]

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When a guy’s printer type began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.
Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told him he might be better off reading the printer’s manual and trying the job himself. [...]

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A sailor and a pirate are drinking at a waterfront bar and they proceed to swap sea stories. The sailor notes the pirate’s peg leg, eye patch and hook.
“So tell me,” asks the sailor, “how did you come to lose that leg?”
“Arrgh,” says the pirate, “‘Twas a black squall swept me overboard. Whilst in the [...]

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After traveling a few blocks, a blonde realizes she had no money and immediately informed the driver. “You’d better stop. I can’t pay you and it’s ten dollars already,” she said.
The driver checked her out in the rear-vision mirror.
“That’s okay,” he said. “I’ll turn down the first dark street, get in the back [...]

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