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Loading ...To My Dearest Wife,
During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:
We will wake the kids - 54 times
It’s too late - 15 [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.
The first said, “I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered.”
The second said, “I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order.”
The [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...50 WAYS TO CONFUSE, WORRY, OR JUST SCARE PEOPLE IN THE COMPUTER LAB
1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream “Oh my God! They’ve found me!” and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...A guy walks into a bar with 3 ducks under his arm. the barman, a curious fellow, wants a word with the ducks but knows the man would object. after an hour, the man goes to the toilet.
“Hi, what’s your name,” he asks the first duck
“Luey”
“What you been doing today”
“I’ve been playing around in Puddles”
“Nice, [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...There was a brunette standing along side a busy road chanting “88, 88, 88, 88…”
A blonde came up to her and said, “That looks like fun, can I try?”
The brunette said, “Sure.”
So the blonde chanted, “88, 88, 88, 88..”
“Well,” said the brunette, “that is fun. But what is even more fun [...]
(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.
The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Senor, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.”
The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.
The guy from Budweiser says, “I’d [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...For three straight years, a young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at the same country inn, several times per year. During his last visit he’d finally managed to seduce the innkeeper’s gorgeous daughter, so he could wait to go there again.
Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...A Programmer and an Engineer were sitting next to each other on an air plane.
The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks if he wants to play a fun game.
The Engineer just wants to sleep so he politely declines, turns away and tries to sleep.
The Programmer persists and explains that it’s [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond are sitting in a doctors office, talking about what sex of child they are going to have.
The Brunette says “I am going to have a boy because I was on top when having sex.”
The Redhead replied “I am going to have a girl because I was [...]
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead.
“Shit!” says the ant. “One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!”
Similar JokesPeanutsThree mischievous boys went to the zoo.
They decided to visit the elephant cage, but [...]
