Published in February 24th, 2008
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer and the bartender asks him to pay up. The guy says he has no money, but for the beer, he will sing through his asshole. The bartender is a little bit skeptical, but figures if the guy can do it, it’s worth a beer. He [...]
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Published in February 24th, 2008
Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear.
The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on.
The second lawyer looked at him and said, “You’re crazy! You’ll never be able to outrun that bear!”
“I don’t have to,” the first lawyer replied. “I only have [...]
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Published in February 24th, 2008
A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with.
Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter ‘penis.’
Without blinking or saying a word, [...]
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Published in February 24th, 2008
Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland.
Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced “One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don’t worry we have three engines left”.
Thirty minutes later, the captain announced “One more engine has failed and the flight will be two [...]
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Published in February 24th, 2008
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves. “What are you doing in there?” she asked.
The rabbit replied: “This is a Westinghouse, isn’t it?” to which the lady replied, “Yes.”
“Well,” the rabbit said, “I’m westing.”
Similar JokesRABBITÂ The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove [...]
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Published in February 23rd, 2008
How do you know that a female bartender is pissed off with you?
There’s a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary.
Similar JokesFemale BartenderHow do you know that a female bartender is pissed off with you?
There’s a string hanging out of you…The Rules 1. The Female always makes THE RULES.
[...]
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Published in February 23rd, 2008
What’s fifteen inches long and hangs in front of an asshole?
A lawyer’s necktie.
Similar JokesNo similar jokes found
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Published in February 23rd, 2008
- Real programmers don’t write specs — Users should consider
themselves lucky to get any programs at all and take what they get.
- Real programmers don’t comment their code. If it was hard to
write, it should be hard to read.
- Real programmers don’t write application programs, they pro-
gram right down on the bare metal. Application programming
is [...]
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Published in February 23rd, 2008
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, “What’s the story?”
He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor.”
She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”
Similar JokesIs The Seal Broken?
A mother and her young son [...]
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Published in February 23rd, 2008
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying. On one occasion, I had a valid reason, but lied anyway because the truth was too humiliating.
I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury and I hoped I would feel [...]
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