At the physics exam: ‘Describe the universe in 200 words and give three examples.’
Q: What do physicists enjoy doing the most at baseball games?
A: The ‘wave’.
The Stanford Linear Accelerator Center was known as SLAC, until the big earthquake, when it became known as SPLAC. SPLAC? Stanford Piecewise Linear Accelerator.
A student recognizes Einstein in a [...]

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A man sobering up from the night before is sitting through the Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring. Still feeling hung over and tired, he finally nods off.
The priest has been watching him all along, noticing his apparent hangover and is disgusted. At the end of the sermon, the preacher decides to make [...]

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The Court of King George III London, England
July 10, 1776
Mr. Thomas Jefferson
c/o The Continental Congress Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Dear Mr. Jefferson,
We have read your “Declaration of Independence” with great interest. Certainly, it represents a considerable undertaking, and many of your statements do merit serious consideration. Unfortunately, the Declaration as a whole fails to meet recently adopted specifications [...]

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Police Chief: As a recruit, you’ll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?
New Recruit: Call for backup!
Similar JokesTesting a new recruitPolice Chief: As a recruit, you’ll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had…Strange new battlesSeems there was a young [...]

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A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket, and ordered a double scotch.
A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered another double. This routine was followed for some time, until after looking into his pocket, he told the bartender that he’s had enough.
The bartender said, “I’ve [...]

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