An old man hands over 50 quid to the turnstyle operator at Celtic Park
Man: Two please.
Turnstyle Operator: Sir, will that be Defenders or Strikers?
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Farmer John was injured when a truck hit his pick-up, and he filed a lawsuit against the driver who hit him. When the case went to trial, the truck driver’s big city lawyer questioned farmer John.
“After the accident, did you not say to the sheriff’s deputy, ‘I’m fine’?” asked the lawyer.
Farmer John answered, “Well I’ll [...]

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One day, a blonde and a brunette were driving to a party and they were speeding because they were late.
“Watch out for cops,” the brunette said.
They drove on for about five minutes when suddenly the blonde said nervously, “I think that’s a cop behind us.”
“Is it after us?” the brunette questioned.
“Er, um…” answered the blonde.
“Well, [...]

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A fellow came into a bar and ordered a martini. Before drinking it, he removed the olive and carefully put it into a glass jar. Then he ordered another martini and did the same thing. After an hour, when he was full of martinis and the jar was full of olives, he staggered out.
“Well,” said [...]

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What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef Jerky!
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A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in [...]

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