Published in June 28th, 2008
A very wealthy lawyer retreated for several weeks each year to his summer home in the backwoods of Maine. Every summer, he would invite one friend or another to stay with him there for a week or two.One summer he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to visit him. The friend, happy to get anything free from [...]
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Published in June 28th, 2008
British Military Officer Fitness ReportsThe British Military writes OFR’s (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people’s “206’s”….- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.- I would not breed from this Officer.- This Officer is [...]
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Published in June 28th, 2008
A judge was annoyed to find that his car wouldn’t start. He called a taxi, and soon one arrived at his house.Climbing in, he told the driver to take him to the halls of justice. “Where are they,” asked the driver.”You mean to say that you don’t know where the courthouse is?” asked the incredulous [...]
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Published in June 28th, 2008
Assembler: You shoot yourself in the foot.Ada: The Department of Defense shoots you in the foot after offering you a blindfold and a last cigarrette.BASIC (interpreted): You shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol until your leg is waterlogged and rots off.BASIC (compiled): You shoot yourself in the foot with a BB using [...]
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Published in June 28th, 2008
How do you catch a polar bear?Answer: First, you cut a large, round hole in the ice. Next, you place enough peas around the hole to completely surround the hole. Then, when the polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the icehole.Sent by Ediie
Similar JokesPolar BearsWhat do polar bears have [...]
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Published in June 27th, 2008
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.”You’ll get your chance in court.” said the Desk Sergeant.”No, no no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do [...]
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Published in June 27th, 2008
As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, “All right! All you dummies fall out.” As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention. The instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow. I smiled and said, [...]
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Published in June 27th, 2008
A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket, and ordered a double scotch.A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered another double. This routine was followed for some time, until after looking into his pocket, he told the bartender that he’s had enough.The bartender said, “I’ve [...]
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Published in June 27th, 2008
10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000.9. He’s won the Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes three years running.8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.7. Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.6. Somehow he/she gets HBO on his PC at work.5. Mumbled, “Oh, puh-leeez” [...]
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Published in June 27th, 2008
What is the difference between a dog and a fox? Eight beers.
Similar JokesDifference Between Nun and BathtubWhat’s the difference between a woman in the bath tub and a nun?
The nun has a soul full of hope….What’s The Difference?What’s the difference between a woman and dog at your front door?
The dog will stop barking once…The [...]
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