Doctor: I have good news and bad news.
Patient: Go with the good news first.
Doctor: You have 24 hours to live.
Patient: What!?! How about the bad news?
Doctor: Um… I forgot to tell you yesterday.
Similar JokesAliens AttackPresident Dubya was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon.”Mr. President,” said the…The Three [...]

continue reading.....

You might be a redneck if you’ve been married three times and you still have the same in-laws!
Similar JokesYou Might Be A Redneck If…In-LawsYou might be a redneck if you’ve been married three times and you still have the same in-laws!Business one-liners 50Approval Seeker’s Law: Those whose approval you seek the most give you the [...]

continue reading.....

Cesium the Beautiful
Oh beautiful for blue of skies,
Among thy spectral lines.
When cast upon the waters clear,
Thy splendid fire shines.
Oh Cesium,
Oh Cesium,
Our days we trust to thee.
Thy faultless rhyme,
In keeping time,
From care doth set us free.
—Songs of Cesium #68
Similar JokesThe Cesium song 01Oh Cesium
(Tune, Oh Christmas tree)

Oh Cesium, oh Cesium,
Thy spectrum doth us please-ium.
Thy…The Cesium song [...]

continue reading.....