10. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the Earth.9. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.8. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.7. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.6. You can focus better with one eye closed.5. You fall off the floor.5. [...]

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A regular at Bob’s Bar came in one evening sporting a matched pair of swollen black eyes that appeared extremely painful.”Whoa, Sam!” said the bartender. “Who gave those beauties to you?””Nobody gave them to me,” said Sam. “I had to fight like crazy for both of them.” Similar JokesWho gave you those black eyes?A regular [...]

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A guy walks in and sits down at a bar. The side of his face is bruised and bleeding so the bartender asks, “What in the world happened to you, buddy?”The guy says “Oh, I got in a fight with my girlfriend and I called her a two-bit whore.””Yeah?” asks the bartender. “What did she [...]

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